As Wordsworth once observed, "the child is the father of the man". I am now a man, but was once a child. However, while I am now a man, I am still a child inside. So maybe that sneaky bastard was onto something when he said this.

As a childish man, I play childish games. I have childish dreams, and childish tendencies. And one thing I've always wanted to childishly do is send a scrub to the All Star game.

I'd like to now make this a reality. In the NBA's overzealous attempts for parity, they tend to include some crap players on the ballot to give fans of all teams someone to vote for.

They've toned it down a bit from how it used to be, when the ballots were bigger. But still, some mediocre (or bad) players creep up onto the ballot every year. And we should capitalise on this.

Here's the players on it:

http://www.nba.com/news/ballot_071113.html

You can also submit write-in votes for players not on it.

The online voting doesn't exist yet, but when it does, each person is allowed to vote multiple times for whoever they want. This easily abusable system got Yao Ming voted in as a starter in 2002 when he didn't even nearly deserve it, because the whole of China voted for him.

It's the right time for that system to be abused again.

Antoine Walker would be best for this, because he is the worst player on the ballot by a mile. Currently nailed to Minnesota's bench, and never any good anyway, Walker is a stand out name on there. He's also fat, funny, and would believe in his own heart that he was there on merit, not as the result of a joke. He's also listed as a guard, which improves the probability of Tony Parker not making the team, And that's another positive side effect.

If we were to choose a real scrub like Thomas Gardner or somebody, we'd all have to submit write-in votes, and most people are too lazy for that. If it involves merely clicking, then we can make it happen. That's why a name that is on the ballot has to be chosen.

So what we need to do, when online voting comes around, is to vote for Walker many millions of times so that he is voted in as a starter. And I mean maaaaaaany times. As often as you can. Tell your friends, get them to do it.

This NEEDS TO HAPPEN.



If you want to go balls out and vote repeatedly for the Ridnour/Walker/Szczerbiak/Scola/Brad Miller Western lineup, please do.